Learning to Slow Down

So today is not going quite as well for us. We did have one really really  positive interaction that I need to note:
Bug was chewing on one of the pieces of plastic food and I said "Oh, you need to chew? You have a Chewy Tube over there." And I pointed to it. He looked where I was pointing. And knew what I was talking about enough to find it. Then he took the plastic food out of his mouth, and put the Chewy Tube in. YAY! Again, this sound so trivial, but I think might be the first time this has ever happened. It's actually a really big step forward. We really want him to be able to point to things, and to get things that we point to. Think about interacting with a toddler. Pointing, gestures, make up a huge part of your interaction. It's how you know what they're talking about, a lot of times. It's how you know they understand you. And we don't have that.

Other than that, today has been kind of frustrating. I feel like Bug is running on high today. Everything is being taken out and dumped and then left. He intentionally dumped out his cup all over the floor. Pulling things down. Emptying the fridge. He's tripping all over things, slipping and sliding. We walked over to the park and he was running ahead and skinned his knee. Then he didn't want to play much, so we went for a walk on the trails. When I said it was time to go, he initially was fine with it, and then took off running in the opposite direction. When I grabbed him and we walked back, he slipped on loose gravel and skinned the other knee. sigh And lunch has been abandoned.

So we're going to try to slow down the afternoon a bit. I made him help me clean up some of the stuff he dumped (He actually put all the pieces in a puzzle he dumped, which is awesome!!! Although he wouldn't do the next puzzle). We're watching tv now. I'm not sure what it is about today. I guess his sensory stuff is off? Maybe he didn't sleep well? But he's doing things so fast nothing is processing and he's hurting himself and I'm getting tired and frustrated.

The park was hard and maybe not the best idea on a "bad day." The park is always hard. If there is no one there, I don't think he minds, and we can go up and play with him more easily. But today it was quite busy. He did go play a little bit. Had a couple of interactions--one girl who was rather possessive/defensive about the playground and pushed Bug. He just looked at her kind of like "Huh. What are you doing?" A younger girl was sweet and smiley at us, and they had to learn how to get past each other in the tunnel. Good interactions, experience. But then he was done and wanted to sit in the stroller so we went for our walk. It's hard. It's hard to see kids who are much younger talking and interacting and acting normal and it feels so glaringly obvious that Bug is different. It's probably not that obvious. But as we left I couldn't help but feel a little bit bad about it. I worry sometimes that this is my fault, that I didn't give him enough social interaction. I know that there is both a nature and a nurture component to his delays. I know that even if it's hard, I need to encourage social situations and interactions when I can. Encouraging him to say "hi" to people. Taking turns on the playground with other kids. Seeing how they play, trying to play with them. I also need to respect that when he's done, he's done.

Bug's memory is so good, I really worry that if something becomes negative, then that's what he thinks of every time that situation occurs. So for example, we go to the doctor when he's sick and they have to look in his ears which hurt...that's what he remembered and then every time we go he freaks out because of that. Or today, he skinned his knee at the park and I worry that next time we go, he won't play because he was hurt today.

I feel like a huge part of my job is to be gently persistent with him and brave enough to encourage situations even if they may not go well. He does often surprise us and respond very well. And it's important that no matter what I feel, I try to think positively and not subconsciously affect the situation with my mood--because he can definitely pick up on that.

Big post today. Sorry. I guess I needed to vent.