Jumping forward!

So Sunday was a very busy day. We went to church, then had friends over for the football game, and then went to dinner at another family's house to prepare for a church group we're going to start in October. Bug did A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

When we got to church, Bug only fussed a little as we pulled in the parking lot, but walked into the nursery without crying, immediately went to find toys, absolutely fine. We were shocked! After missing last week, we didn't know how it would go, but he did great. I fed Wiggle and headed out...unfortunately I got called back in because Wiggle's got some separation anxiety, but Bug was perfect the whole time! YAY!

Then we had friends over who have kids around the same age as Bug and Wiggle. Bug was very into football, of course. He did have to do a little sharing (and not sharing of sippy cups) and navigating around the extra people, but he did really well.

We then went over to a new family's house for supper. Bug needed a little time to be ok to go in the house, but once he came in he did great. Mostly he ate their fruit (and tried a tomato that he thought was an apple). He did use chalk on a chalkboard, which was cool. I tried sidewalk chalk with him earlier this summer and he was having none of it.

I also feel like he's done a pretty good job of maintaining talking while we're out and about. I think he's gaining confidence.

"Yes please" is getting overused now (meaning he doesn't always use it appropriately. Sometimes he just comes up and says "yes please"--he knows it gets him things. He is also using "downstairs" rather than just "upstairs" for both. Good!

I mentioned last time that I started doing some yoga with him. We've noticed that since I've done them (3 times now) Bug has been doing more "downward dog" type stuff. Not sure if it's just a coincidence or what. He does really enjoy watching them, although he did try many of the movements today (he does like the end where we lay on the floor).

I also took Bug to Romp N Roll again today for open gym. He was very good (seemed excited or at least interested) about going in and getting into the gym. He did run around for a few minutes and try a few things, but then wanted to leave. I asked them to turn the music down, but that didn't seem to help. I think he noticed the different layout and was thrown by that. As we left, a lot of kids did start showing up, so maybe it was for the best. We will keep trying! I do think that I will ask them to turn the music down right away when we get in. Yesterday was also a very long day, so he might have just been tired.

We also started Bug on an omega-3/DHA supplement. I've read numerous places that most Americans are deficient, and boys need a lot. Many kids who have autism benefit from the supplements, so we thought we'd give it a try.

Our trampoline came today too! I put it together while Bug was downstairs watching Word World. He came up when Adam came home and was immediately drawn to the trampoline. I opened it up for him and he crawled right in and started bouncing. He was super excited! Hopefully it'll be theraputic and fun all in one! :)

Tomorrow is OT and Wednesday speech. I'm excited to talk to the therapists about all the new stuff that's happened. And I love seeing all the progress Bug's making!

SUCCESS!!!!

So this morning I got a call from the owner of Romp N Roll. She said she had read the notes about Bug and our free class last week. She wanted to reach out and see if there was anything else they could do and I told her it was absolutely nothing on their end that went wrong, in fact I was super impressed with the staff there. She offered Bug a free open gym and mentioned that today they were extending the hours and if we came earlier, it would probably be pretty quiet. I said we would try, but obviously I didn't want to push Bug. She was totally understanding and sympathetic and super awesome.

I mentioned to Bug a few times today that I wanted to try Romp N Roll again. As soon as we got into the parking lot, Bug started crying. When I parked the car, he started freaking out. I let him out of his seat, got Wiggle out, and did some squeezes before I brought him to the door. Sarah, the same girl who helped us last time, was there, took Wiggle so I could get Bug in. He was in meltdown mode, but I just sat on the floor with him, talked a little bit to Sarah and the owner and let Bug have his moment. Luckily there was no one else there, so I didn't have to feel embarrassed or rushed or worried about the extra stimulus. Sarah was just so accommodating. She turned down the music for us, and then brought out a nubbly ball and opened up the gates so if Bug was inclined, he could go in the gym. I played with the ball a bit, rolled it on Bug's legs and he took it. When it rolled away, he got up to get it, noticed the opened gate, and headed in. YAY! I think Sarah and I both did silent cheers.

He started out in the baby area, but within a few minutes was exploring further and further. Another little boy showed up and was a good model for a lot of "typical" behavior. He was not a big talker either, so it was nice to have them be about the same level. They did interact a little, had to take turns going down the slide and share toys. We were there for more than an hour, Bug probably got about an hour playing time. He did find a lot of fun things to jump on, did some climbing, played with balls (mostly ran around with them). Mostly he wanted me to be near, but it was more to play with him, not really clinging. He was reluctant to go, but I think he was tired and hungry so he didn't put up too much of a fight.

When we got home he was pretty talkative ("Yes please" is really settling in) which was fun for us. Our OT says that doing so much sensory diet stuff should help "calm" him down so we'll watch him closely tomorrow to see if he seems to be seeking less than normal.

All in all, I'm really pleased with how it went. I bought a pass so we can go to more open gyms as we're able. Hopefully it ends up being a good fun positive experience for Bug. I'd love to get him in a class, but open gym definitely seems like the right thing for us right now.

As I was reflecting on this with Adam tonight, I realized something. I had read a book called "Kids Beyond Limits" about sort of healing the brain of kids who have all sorts of issues (CP, autism, etc) and the author mentioned how she always starts so small. Some therapies constantly try to get things to do things they aren't able to. All that teaches kids is failure. Small, tiny baby steps that are successful for the child help the child's brain grow and form strong connections. This week, when I was reading about expanding diets of sensory kids, a website suggested making "just noticeable" differences to foods to slowly expand the variety. Change the color, the shape, before just throwing new foods out there. If the child freaks out about it, it was too big of a change. Think smaller.

Momma has learned this week: Think small. Small changes, small steps. If he freaks out, it was too much. Being "trapped" in a class is too much right now. Entering the gym on his own terms, when he is ready, is the right small step.

We are going to take a quiet day tomorrow. On Sunday we have church, then friends over for the football game and then dinner with a family who were are running a fellowship group with, so a big day for Bug. Hopefully the calm day in between will keep things fairly successful!

I just feel so blessed that we have access to people who want to help us help Bug, who want to see him be successful almost as much as we do. I think God has shown me this week that even when I feel hopeless and lost, there are always hands there ready to help me out. I'm glad I get to end this week on a more positive note than last week.

So I haven't posted much. We had a cold work its way through the house and I'm finally feeling like a person again so it's time to get caught up.

We didn't go to church on Sunday because Bug got a runny nose and a low fever on Saturday. Crossing our fingers that this doesn't set us back at all with going to nursery. I did feel very very happy and blessed that it really does seem to be just a cold. Bug hasn't even really had a runny nose (Momma seems to have gotten the worst of it.)

On Sunday we were watching football (yay, football season!) and apparently it inspired A LOT of talking! He was repeating lots of what he heard on the tv and from us, and I've definitely noticed an uptick in him trying to imitate sounds. Maybe even some singing? I can't entirely tell, as there's no pitch to it, but long drawn out words make me think he's trying to sing! Every single day this week he's asked me to watch "baseball" (he means football).

Watching the Packers

Bug now points to objects in The Cat in the Hat as well as The Very Hungry Catepillar! We try to vary what we ask him to point at so that he doesn't get into a "rut"
 I also had success getting him to hand me the remote which was on the coffee table. He had to find it and get it and give it to me. MOTIVATION really helps. ;) I told him we could watch another episode of Dinoaur Train. Talking with our speech therapist, Kerry, she said that we should work on "what is that" with Bug. He is learning that we point at things in books, now we stretch and we can point at things across the room, and eventually outside.

Adam has managed to get Bug to say "Yes please" now (prompted) which is a fantastic step! It is great to have him truly confirm what he wants and I really hope we can see this go further!

This is how I've been meeting Bug's sensory needs while I've not had energy for anything.

 He's been a big fan of jumping on the air mattress! We do have a trampoline coming on Monday, so looking forward to that! I feel like the sensory diet stuff hasn't been working, but truthfully, I'm not very faithful to it. So I've decided to make a strong effort for the next few days until OT on Tuesday and if I still feel like it's not good, I'll bring it up to Lauren.

I also found some awesome kid's yoga videos on YouTube that we've been trying out. They're just short ones (10-15 minutes) but they tell a cute little story. Bug seems very interested in them, today (our second time doing them) it seemed like he was trying to do some of the poses. He liked having me do the lying down ones especially. If I would stand up, he'd tell me to "lie down." I told him that I was copying the lady on the tv. Hopefully we can make this a "baby step" toward Bug listening to others, following others' directions.

We've also been doing a lot of thinking about food and I've started doing some research. We are contemplating a dairy-free and possibly gluten free diet for Bug. I have long suspected Bug to have an issue with dairy. He has keratosis pilaris (those little red bumps--very common) and it has really spread from his face to his arms and now to his legs and bottom. I have read that it can be the only sign of a food allergy. There is also a lot of evidence (largely anecdotal) that a GFDF diet can help with speech delays and with sensory processing disorder and autism. We are thinking that we might try to decrease his dairy and then go dairy free for a month to see if there is an improvement.

The hardest part would be making sure that Bug still gets a balanced diet. Because he doesn't eat (most) meat, dairy is the main source of his protein. He does like green beans and will eat some peanut butter, but it is very difficult to introduce him to new things. So today I tried a little experiment. I filled a little ice cube tray I got from Target with a variety of different foods (peanut butter, yogurt, apple sauce and raisins). Really my goal was to see if he would try dipping his apple slices in the stuff. But he was very interested and ate the applesauce, some raisins and some peanut butter. I think the biggest problem was that they were such small little spaces that there wasn't much and it was hard to get to at. So I might try again with a muffin pan. And I have a little lightning bolt tray too that I can try.

So all in all, I feel like we are still making slow but steady progress. I do plan on talking about the dietary changes with the OT and I still have more research to do. Looking forward to the weekend with cooler temps (and healthier family) so we can GET OUTSIDE!

The Worst Part is not knowing

We've had a hard few days over here. On Thursday, when I really (really) needed to get out of the house...Bug was adamantly against it. "Do you want to go see friends?" No. "Well, Mommy would like to go. I think we should try it." No. "We can walk to a playground" No. "Please honey? If you don't like it, you tell Mommy, and we'll go." No.  So we didn't go.

And then yesterday we were supposed to have our free class at Romp N Roll. I was really excited. Nervous, of course, but really truly hopeful that he would at least enjoy the physical part and the structured part would be a good challenge for us. He didn't want to leave the house again, but I got him in the car and he was calm and I figured it'd be ok. It didn't help he got up at like 5 yesterday morning. But we got to RnR and he was a little unsure but not too bad in the lobby. When the teacher called us in to the little playhouse room for the intro song and such, Bug lost it. Crying. Asking to go. Trying to go. He seemed to be interested in the songs for a second or two, and then he'd go back to trying to escape. He wouldn't come near me, so I couldn't calm him down in my lap. I took him back out. One of the other workers asked if we wanted to just go into the gym, so we tried that. He looked at all the really cool stuff for a millisecond and then continued to cry and ask to go. So we headed out. The girl was so sweet to us, told us that I can call any time to come back, or we can just do Open Gym to start.

So we came home. And I briefly explained to Adam. And we both just felt so deflated. Defeated. Discouraged.

The worst part is not knowing.

How much of this is typical two year old stuff versus "Bug's quirks" stuff? What exactly is so objectionable about these environments? Is this actually backlash from "prepping" him (telling him prior where we are going and what to expect--Adam pointed out that we don't do that if we're doing little errands or going to places he's ok with, only when it's something new and we're not sure of his reaction)? Where is the line between challenging him and traumatizing him? Am I being too soft with him?

The worst part is not knowing. Why?

On the surface, you could look at the RnR thing and see any kid doing that. But as Bug's Mom, and someone not unfamiliar with tantrummy, fickle two year olds...he was scared. Panicked. Truly frightened. I don't know why. As far as environments go, it wasn't too bad stimulation-wise. There were only 3 other kids--who weren't moving around wildly or making big noises. Simple room.

We don't know what about new environments makes Bug so uneasy. Sometimes you can understand--the nursery at church is busy...when there are lots of kids in there, it is kind of overwhelming, even as an adult. The library even, while quiet, is big and there is so much visual.

Bug can't tell us. Maybe he doesn't even know. The best we can do is look for patterns. It's all guesswork.

The worst part is not knowing. How to help?

The worst part is not knowing. What to do?

I'm Bug's mom. I've seen this kid every. single. day. for his entire life--31 months now. The longest period of time I've ever been away from him was when I was in the hospital after having Wiggle. And even then, I saw him every day. No one knows him better than me. And so I'm the biggest advocate he has. It is my job to protect him, get his needs met, encourage him and challenge him, but recognize when it's best to just bail on a situation.

One of the hardest things for me is when I tell others about Bug's being uncomfortable in new situations, especially if we're not there. People invariably give me some version of "Well, he's going to have to get over it." And that just seems so horribly callous to me.

Imagine being brought to a foreign land, where you had no common language. You can't use gestures to get your needs met. You can't talk. That would produce anxiety, even for an adult. And we're not sure, what does Bug see, feel, notice in a new environment. He could be in pain, and I wouldn't necessarily know it. How do I help him when I don't know what the problem is?

As an adult, you can control your environment. If something makes you uneasy, you can avoid it, or you at least have the ability to somewhat mentally prepare yourself, you have coping mechanisms. Bug has no control over where he goes. He is not able to prepare himself. We have to teach him how. Somehow.

I'm Bug's biggest advocate. Until he can express himself, I have to be his voice. And the little bit that he does express himself I have to encourage and respect. Give him confidence. Show him that saying "x" gets you "y" consistently. Find some balance between empowering him without letting him completely take over (that is, we're not going to stop going to new places all together because Bug doesn't like them...but maybe there are some that we wouldn't go to because they are too much, or leaving when he's had enough). Find a balance between challenging him and protecting him. Heck, even the balance between being honest and realistic about our struggles and being overly negative. Knowing what is good and what damages him.

The hardest part is not knowing. We are flying blind over here. We are very much just making it up as we go along. I'm not going to lie. And while I don't think that's unusual at all for parenthood, we have the added complexity of this sensory issue/speech delay that may be indicative of something deeper or maybe is just a quirk or a phase. No clue.

What I do know: We have a smart, sweet little boy that we love very much. My parenting philosophy is best summed up as "Love the snot out of them." So I'm going to do that, I'm going to try to trust my gut as we do this complicated balancing act. I know that God has this all figured out, and I'm going to try to be ok with that. And I know that we will slog on.

Really successful OT today!!!

So a quick note on the rest of our long weekend. Lots of good talking. Repeating us, repeating sounds and words he heard while we were at the park yesterday. We did have a frustrating experience. He was trying to tell us something, we weren't sure what. I asked him to show me and he couldn't. He started getting frustrated. It was tough. But in some ways really good too.

He's also had some interactions with Wiggle. Wiggle is starting to grab for things Bug has, invading space. Bug is not excited about this. But it's actually good that he's possessive about his stuff. Trying to teach him to say things like "No, that's mine" etc.

We took him to the park yesterday. It was great because it was empty, so he could really experience things. The favorite was definitely a spinning chair thing. He loved it. I would spin him until he would get dizzy, then he'd get down, reset and go back for more. He also enjoyed some good swinging, but wouldn't go down the slides.

We had OT this morning with Lauren. Bug got up quite late, so I wasn't quite sure what we were going to get. It was actually an awesomely good session. He didn't fuss at all about Lauren coming in, he actually interacted with her (talking, eye contact and even letting her touch him a little) WHICH IS REALLY REALLY FANTASTIC! He did decide after a bit that he'd rather have my company, but it was a huge improvement over the last session.

We reviewed his sensory profile which was about how we expected. The biggest thing is his auditory troubles. He takes longer to process auditory inform, so the best thing we can do for him is give him more time. We might have to touch him to get his attention, use simple directions (pointing at what we want) and giving him a little bit more time to respond. Patience. Lots of patience.

Our next step with Bug's sensory diet is layering in more vestibular stuff. It's funny, because we've actually kind of started this on our own. The park experience, with the spinning chairs, is perfect. We just bought a sit n spin for home. She said a small trampoline would be good too. Rocking, swinging are

She said that our issue with getting the tactile/proprioception stuff in every two hours is very common with parents. Life goes on, no matter what we're supposed to be doing. But she said to keep trying, and start paying attention to Bug as we become more used to it. Does he focus better? After an intense vestibular experience (like yesterday) does he jump and spin less? Even the next day?

Lauren and I also talked quite a bit about our social experiences. She said we are doing a very good job with not pushing Bug too hard, but encouraging him just enough. She agreed that our most successful experiences will be in "smaller" social settings (like Sunday in church, where there weren't a lot of other kids). She also suggested that if he is overwhelmed, that we take him out, do some of the tactile stuff (squeezes or lotion) in the car or another quiet place, and then bring him back in.

A lot of our work with Bug is really just about awareness. Being more aware of his needs, more in tune with what he's feeling, more aware of the situations we put him in and how they affect him. It can be so draining, but it is so important. It is a bit crazy how much time and energy I devote to just thinking about Bug and his needs, reflecting on how things went, how they could go better, how we could explore further, push him in a successful and positive way. I'm learning to really trust my gut. It can be difficult. On the one hand, I don't want to "baby" him, but on the other hand, I have to be sympathetic to his needs and his abilities. It can be so draining, but it's crucial. I'm sure that eventually it'll be second nature, after all, we've only been exploring this for 6 weeks or so. Kind of amazing to think about.

The other thing that has been weighing on me a lot lately is thinking about sending Bug to Early Childhood when he turns 3. I have very mixed feelings on it, and we need to make a decision about it within the next month or so. Adam and I need to do some discussing about our goals and wants for our boy. And I have lots of research to do too. It's complicated. While I definitely think Bug will need to continue his therapies and would benefit from the social interaction, I'm concerned that it's not the right environment for him right now. It's also hard because I have no idea where he'll be in 4 months or so, so it's difficult to know what the right situation is. Adam and I would really appreciate your prayers as we do research and make these big decisions. Prayers that God will be with us, bless us, give us wisdom.

Tomorrow we have speech, such a busy week!

Repeat after Me

So I mentioned last time that Bug has started repeating things he hears when we're out and about. We are definitely seeing an increase in him repeating what we say, even if he doesn't really understand it.

On Friday I asked him if he wanted to call Grandma Trew on Skype. He said "Gran" which took me by surprise. I asked him if he said "Grandma" and he said "please" (which is how he confirms that he wants something). Later that day when he wanted my phone, he asked for Gran again...so I think he might think it means something about using the tech stuff.

The other funny one was while we were at the ReStore, Adam kept telling Bug "Don't touch" while we were walking through. Bug started going over to things and saying "Dohn tuh. Dohn tuh". He was still touching, so now we're joking that he thinks things are called "Don't touch". There are a lot of don't touches. ;)

Another thing we've noticed is an increase in him actually playing with toys. He's been very interested in cars lately, "driving" them and making them say "vroom". We also got him a sit n spin toy that he likes to go to sometimes. It's funny because he's actually a little big for it, but he does enjoy spinning himself and it's a good sensory toy.

We made it to church again today! We were running late because of Wiggle, but we went anyway. Today it was only Bug, Wiggle and one little girl. Bug calmed down much faster and headed off on his own, so I was able to leave for at least a little bit. When we went to get him, he was playing and didn't even seem that excited to have us back ;) We didn't do communion, but it was still a lot of progress over last week.

The more successful experience showed us that it seems to be more about how overwhelming it is rather than us leaving.