A Bug's Life, Part Two

I didn't forget about part two, I've been swamped with Christmas sewing. But today this awesome letter showed up in my news feed, and I thought I should get started on this post.

What's it like for Bug, in Bug's world? The hard truth is, I don't know. I have ideas, and sometimes I have little peeks in, but I don't actually know. I absolutely believe that he experiences some things differently than we do. He definitely has different interests. Right now, he's a good blend between "normal" two (almost three!) -year old and not normal. And it can be VERY difficult to figure out when he's just being a toddler and when he's actually having a sensory or social issue.

It makes me super happy to say that Bug has gotten SO MUCH BETTER at communication. Most of his words now sound about right, with the correct number of syllables. He still struggles to string them together into phrases, but it is coming along. I think most of the time now, I can figure out what he wants. And he definitely seems more willing to stick with it and try to get what he wants. This weekend he kept saying "bagel" only I didn't know that's what he was saying (because he had never said it correctly before). Finally he went over to where we kept them and said "door" and it clicked. "Oh, you want a bagel!" "Yes please!" "Great job Buddy! Thank you for helping Mommy figure out what you want."

Our struggle right now is to get him to understand more abstract concepts now. Things like being bored, being friends, love, tired, etc. Wiggle is constantly getting into Bug's space now and Bug has a hard time coping with that. We're trying to help him understand that Wiggle just wants to be friends with him. He wants to play with him, he's curious. Hard things to grasp.

As Bug's language has been clearing up, we've discovered that he spends a lot of time imitating and thinking about his favorite TV shows. Super Why is the current favorite over here.  Phones and the computer frequently remind him of it so he says things like "Super duper computer" a lot. If you talk about red, that reminds him of the color red so we sing the song from Starfall. I think he sings a lot, it's just that it sounds more like talking. He does sometimes however try to change the pitch of his voice or lengthen the words.

Bug's social skills are slowly improving too. He is definitely more aware of what's going on in his environment. Wiggle plays a big part in this too. Now Bug frequently has someone challenging his space, his "plans" and his possessions. Right now, this tension is our biggest struggle. Bug basically wants Wiggle no where near him and pushes at Wiggle if he gets too close.

Another challenge is that Bug doesn't play in the same ways many other kids do, and he has a hard time with other kids occupying the same space. Bug enjoys trains and dinosaurs, but he doesn't make-believe with them--at least not that I can tell. I do think he likes to do dinosaur train, and he is at least sometimes responsive to us showing him "how to play". I struggle with this a bit too. On the one hand, I'd love to see Bug play the way I see other kids do. On the other hand, if that's not how Bug's brain works, if that's not what he's interested in, who am I to try to force him to change?

I know it can be difficult for others to interact with Bug. Honestly, it can be tough for us, his parents, too. It's hard to know what to do with a kid who seems to be ignoring you. I've learned that Bug definitely is more aware of us than we realize. When talking to him, we've found that simple, direct questions or requests are best. He takes a little bit longer to process what you say, so you have to be patient with him. He also can be slow to warm to people. Almost every week, he gets upset when the therapists come, but he usually livens up a bit within 10-15 minutes and sometimes is very upset when they leave. Some days he is more comfortable and some days less so.

That might be the biggest thing: Every day is different with Bug. There are just so many factors. If he didn't get enough sleep, that makes everything more challenging (like it would with anyone, really). Some days are bad sensory days. We have trouble finding a pair of pants he'll wear, or he'll be tripping and tumbling, or seems like he's not really in our world (focusing on looking out windows or at the corners and edges of things). Other days, he is warm, responsive, parrots us, finds things silly. We just never know. I just try to respond to his needs. If he seems wound up, we'll try to focus on sensory stuff and things I know are comforting for him. If he is really engaged, we'll try to stretch his boundaries a little. Honestly, it can be exhausting. I'm grateful for the therapists coming in because it gives me a chance to get new perspective and kind of "reset".

I am constantly on the hunt for new sensory activities, support ideas, and as much information as I can possibly get my hands on. So I thought I'd put a few resources that I've found helpful and insightful:
The Reason I Jump This book was written by an autistic teen. It's a quick read and very telling. A lot of it reminded me of Bug. A bit heart-breaking too, how aware kids are of how we feel about things.

Meeting Sensory Needs on a Budget This had a ton of ideas that you can DIY to meet sensory needs. It's amazing how creative people can be. Necessity breeds invention.

 SPD Foundation

Hopefully this gives you all a better idea of how it goes for us. We're walking a complicated walk. But it's worth it to see all the growth, and of course, anything for our Bug.

The next couple of months will be transitional for us. Bug turns three at the beginning of February, which means that he no longer qualifies for Early Intervention services. So we will be meeting with EI to reevaluate, then checking up with Bug's pediatrician to see what our next step is.

A Bug's Life (Part One)

So I thought I'd deviate a little bit from our normal "progress" report and do a little more explaining about Bug's world. I'm thinking there will be two parts, one focusing more on the physical world (ie, our home) and how we're making a more Bug-friendly environment and the other part focusing on how Bug interacts with his world.

Bug tends to have a lot of "sensory seeking" behaviors--meaning he requires more stimulus. However, he also can get overstimulated easily, so we are learning to make an organized, simple and comfortable home for our boy.

The Playroom:

This is where we spend the majority of our day. When we bought our house, I wanted to create a designated playroom for the kids--where they can be pretty free to do whatever they want. This room is constantly a work in progress to keep it as sensory-friendly as possible.

Sensory-friendly toys:
Trampoline- This was a great deal I found online. Just $62 and free shipping from Rakuten. It supports up to 100 pounds so hopefully we can use it for several more years

Huge beanbag: Bug likes to lean against this for reading. He also loves it when we throw him on the beanbag when roughhousing.

Chalkboard easel: Using chalk is a fairly new thing for Bug to do. He doesn't draw on the chalkboard a ton, but it is always available for him.

Bilibo: The green "shell" shaped seat in the middle of the rug is called a Bilibo. It's a free-play toy, meaning kids can use it however they like. Bug likes to be spun in it, stand on top of it, and scoot himself around in it.

Waterbeads:

I've read about these on the Play at Home Mom blog which I'm a big fan of. Waterbeads are a great sensory toy. They're kind of soft and can be difficult to pick up, but they bounce around and are fun to play with. We like to fling them around our box. I got our beads on Zulily but you can find them at Joanns or Michaels. They are traditionally used as vase fillers.

Our Chewy Tubes are a crucial sensory "toy" too. These were designed for kids who need to strengthen their jaws, but our OT recommended them so we can redirect inappropriate chewing. When we see him chewing on something he shouldn't be we ask him to get a Chewy or offer him one. This allows him to meet his sensory needs without being scolded all the time.

We have a lot of traditional toys too. The play kitchen, cars, trains and tracks, Duplos, some balls. I have them in bins that are easy to pull out of the wire cubes. This helps things be put away but still very accessible. We've found this works much better for us than a toybox. We also have a bookshelf where we keep all Bug's books and puzzles. Obviously, Bug loves his books so he needs full access to them. The puzzles see a lot less use, but occasionally Bug will do the simple wooden puzzles for us.

Just outside of the playroom is the daily chart:

We don't use this a ton right now. A certain newly-mobile little man I know has a penchant for removing the pictures and trying to eat them ;) The idea, however, is to have a daily plan that Bug can see so he can better anticipate what will happen during the day. This is especially important on the days we have therapy or are going to do something out of the ordinary. Bug does not cope well with things being "sprung" on him.

Bug's Room:
I don't have a great picture of Bug's room. The only "sensory" specific thing we have in there is a new addition and a work in progress:

This is Bug's tent. Our occupational therapist suggested we create a "safe spot" or a "nest" for Bug to hunker down in when he's feeling over stimulated. I plan on putting a bunch of pillows in there so it's nice and cozy for him.

Around the house:

We have a water table that goes outside during the summer. During the fall/winter/early spring we keep it indoors and put beans in it. Bug loves to run his fingers through the beans. We also have some scoops and cars that can go in it too.

 One of Bug's other favorite places is our bedroom. He loves to be tossed onto our bed, pretty much until Daddy or I call it quits.

He also likes to play peek-a-boo in our closet. We use the physical activities as a way to encourage him to talk. He has to ask "Throw me on the bed please" or "More" or "Again." Opening and closing closet doors gets us to work on "Hi" and "bye" and cooperative play.

We also like to go to nearby parks or Maymont to meet Bug's physical needs. Bug loves to swing. One of our goals for the next year (or so) is to put a swingset in the backyard so we can go out more often, but we have a park within walking distance that we go to fairly often.

While we have pretty much stopped any focused attention on a "sensory diet", we have found that Bug enjoys sensory-intensive activities and that we can use them to encourage language, cooperative play and social skills. 

Hopefully this gives you a little peek into Bug's world. The next post will be more about how Bug experiences things (from my eyes, of course) and how we cope and help him cope.


 

A Mother's Reflection

So I've been meaning to do this post for a while, but today, we're watching Wall-E and it hit me: Bug has grown so much in such a short period of time!

We used to watch Wall-E all the time when I was pregnant, because I was sick and Bug loooovvvvesss Wall-E. We thought he liked it so much because there wasn't a lot of talking, so it was easy to follow. He used to get so excited, he would be glued to the screen the entire movie, usually flapping and jumping in excitement. But he wouldn't say anything, barely even make noise.

Today, he asked to watch "La-lee". He's been repeating words and sounds he hears. He turns around to tell me things he sees. He pointed out a letter or two. He asked for crackers as a snack while he is watching. And we're only about 35 minutes in! Yes, he's still flapping his arms and jumping, but he is far more engaged than he's ever been before.

When we started therapy, Bug was typically in his own little world. It was hard to get his attention, nearly impossible to get him to follow even a basic instruction, and he almost always was chewing on something.

We still struggle sometimes to get his attention. But I am quite certain he hears me and understands me now. I think it just takes a bit longer to process sometimes, especially if it's not a predictable or common request. He is so helpful with putting things away and will put some things away without being asked. And we very rarely have issues with him putting "inappropriate" objects in his mouth anymore.

While we still haven't seen a ton of improvement in his ability to make sentences, he has increased his vocabulary and "old" words that were only one syllable are slowly becoming longer and clearer. He is able to tell us whether or not he wants something, and that is HUGE! He also will point to things in books and will follow our line of sight if we point to something.

The changes have been noticed by our family and friends, our therapists and even Dr. Marks noticed when Bug was at the doctor last week. Bug is far more verbal and socially engaged than he's ever been, and it's wonderful! We still have goals we'd like to accomplish, and there's always room for progress, but I thought I should take a moment to call attention to and give thanks for how far we've come in just 3 months! This momma couldn't be prouder!

Connections

Bug has been continuing his EXCELLENT progress interacting with people! This weekend we Skyped with Grandma and Grandpa S. and Bug was far more interested than he's been before! He counted their fingers and we sung them the ABC song from Starfall. :) He did drift away a few times (football was on), but kept coming back, which was great.

Then today I took the kids to a nearby park. Bug did a lot of his usual running from place to place (after getting in a ton of swinging, of course!). He did have a bit of an interaction with a couple of other little boys who were interested in the same rocking horse that he was. I think they had some issues with the lack of language.

The best part was that Bug saw a mom sitting and playing with her daughter. The daughter was piling leaves and woodchips onto the table and they were pretending to eat. Bug went and sat right next to the mom. I went over to watch and help if needed. Bug attempted a little bit of imitation play. Mostly he cozied up to this other mom ;) She told me that he had seen her and was watching her around the playground too, so there must have been something about her that was intriguing and inviting. Our friend M came over and sat next to Bug and he tolerated that really well too. It was a very positive experience!

We have definitely noticed an increase in Bug's social awareness! Kerry, our speech therapist mentioned it too, that Bug gives a lot more eye contact and pays attention to others, even if for brief moments. I've noticed him talking more too, and he's getting good at communicating his needs, even if only using a few words. He definitely wants to interact with us and for us to understand him. Hopefully we can keep up the motivation for him and we can start using longer phrases.

As Wiggle gets more mobile, I think Bug is getting a more frequent stream of interaction. Wiggle is constantly going for Bug's stuff, so he has to always be aware of him. We are trying to teach Bug to use words ("No no. No touch. That's mine.) and not to take things away. Definitely age appropriate stuff going on. :)

We've been working on some songs too. Bug really likes Starfall, and we've all learned a couple of the songs. He likes us to sing them and chimes in with words (no melody) if we drop off. All day today he's been saying "Di-saur traaaaaaiiiiinnn" to the rhythm that the theme song goes.

I'm so proud and so impressed with Bug. He is doing such a good job and it is such a blessing to be able to work with him and watch him grow!

Turning a corner?

After a great OT last week, speech didn't go quite as well. To be fair, Bug was super tired (my boy who used to sleep in til 9 or 9:30 is now up before 7 several times a week!) so I think he wasn't real interested in Kerry and was having trouble focusing. He did let Kerry help him wash his hands and said a few things to her, so there was still progress.

We went to visit friends at their new house on Thursday and Bug did super! He did some good communicating and letting Mrs. W help him. He also had some squabbles over toys--which seems bad except that it's a totally age-appropriate thing to happen! and enjoyed riding on a little push toy. I was really impressed with his calmness and his good listening and communication while we were there.

I feel like we've made some huge strides with Bug "dealing with" other people. He's doing great at nursery, and has been more interactive with his therapists and our friends! It's a great step forward for us. Hopefully we can continue this so that we can do more cooperative play and start looking into getting a babysitter. :)

We have been doing some good sensory activities lately too!

I got some water beads from Zulily. They are these tiny little beads that you soak in water and they expand. Then they bounce and are fun to play with. They are a bit fragile (and so hard to find when they fall on the floor!) but Bug is really enjoying them! We do have to make sure he doesn't eat them though.

We also went to a pumpkin patch for the first time this weekend! Bug got to see a bonfire which he was really excited about, and did a really good job listening to us and being careful around it. He also liked seeing the tractors.

We even went on a tractor ride which Bug liked a ton! He had his little "Scharf smirk" the whole time. He was less into picking pumpkins, but we did manage to get one for everybody. Bug preferred the greener "pums" but maybe just because then Daddy would pluck them off the vine!

Today we went to Jumpology, which is a trampoline arena that is fairly new. I've had this on our to-do list for a while and we finally made it work today! Initially Bug was resistant to going inside. When I opened the door, he heard the music (which was very loud!) and didn't want to go in. I carried him in and got us to the desk. They turned down the music for us and that seemed to help. Then Bug headed up to the trampolines and we had some issues because he had to take his shoes off. (Funny note: These are the shoes that we just bought that are different from the last two pairs we've had for him. The ones I was worried about him wearing. Yeah, he apparently is a big fan of them because we have trouble getting him to take them off, even at home!) He did calm down a little and found a ball, which was a good distraction. He did run around and bounce a bit, but I think it was very distracting to him to not have his shoes on. We spent about a half hour there, which is a very good amount of time really. I'm hopeful that we can go back and keep building positive experiences there! It wasn't too busy, so I think that was helpful.

There definitely seems to be a sound component to his unease at new places. Romp n Roll plays music too, and I wonder if Bug finds it somewhat "accosting." Luckily, the workers at RnR and Jumpology seem very accommodating and don't mind turning the music down for us, especially when I explain. :)

A couple more notes: I am feeling very excited and happy about Bug's progress with words. Strawberry is now "Soo-waw-bee" which is a definite improvement over "soo-waw". And today was the first day that "pizza" had two syllables too! One of our goals is to get Bug to at least say the correct number of syllables for words, and he's definitely making some good changes. It would be so helpful for us if we could get him to lengthen his words even by another syllable.

I'm so glad that we're in a positive place right now! I am immensely proud of my boy and the strides he is making. I feel like we're able to have a lot more fun as we build understanding on "what makes him tick!"

Best therapy session so far!

We had OT today. Lauren, our therapist, brought a student named Kelly. Apparently Bug was quite taken with her, because he was in amazing form! We had, by far, the most engaging, productive session we've ever had! :-D

Bug was very excited when the therapists came up and he was immediately very talkative and active. I showed Lauren the new game we play that involves holding Bug and twisting around very fast while saying "vooo" (who knows where these things originate.) He absolutely loves it and would do it all day if we would let him. We also did squishes and swinging and he kept asking me to do it again and again. He was communicating with all of us, asked Lauren to stand up, asked us to come. After a good amount of play, he brought over a book and sat in my lap to read it. Lauren came and sat by us and did some firm squeezes on his feet. She tickled him and he repeatedly asked her to tickle his belly! She also colored on him with chalk (he does this to himself sometimes) and he really enjoyed that too.

At about 45 minutes, he decided he needed a snack, so we all sat at the table. Lauren went to get her computer, and sly little Bug went over to her to get a peek and press some buttons. Then he asked to sit in her lap! She said that she had to let him, since he never ever asks her for stuff like that. :) He kept trying to give her a book so he could type. It was very funny. 

The whole time Lauren and I were just astounded (and THRILLED) at how engaged Bug was. Such a far cry from last session!! Lauren suggested that we continue doing as much sensory stuff as we can, as obviously Bug enjoys it and it's a good way to motivate him to work on language and playing with us.

I also found out about a weighted vest pattern that will be going on sale starting tomorrow, so I'm planning on making Bug one. Lauren was really supportive of this too. Assuming he doesn't mind wearing it, she said it could be very beneficial. She said we might have to start just by putting it on for a minute or two, then taking it off and slowly working our way up. Weighted vests help kids with SPD or autism get more input so they can focus better. Basically the vest is weighted with poly beads or washers sewn into the vest. They also make weighted blankets and lovies with the same concept. If you buy them, they are quite expensive, but not hard to make, so I'm excited to give it a try!

I'm so glad we had a great session today! I'm hopeful that last session was a fluke and that we can continue having good, productive therapy sessions. Here's hoping speech tomorrow goes just as well!

Rocks, chalk, and schedules.

So wow. I didn't realize it'd been quite that long since I updated. I guess I have a lot to catch up on!

Therapies:
Speech is usually pretty successful. Bug doesn't do a ton of interacting with Kerry, our therapist, but he's pretty tolerant of her and he does display skills for her to see. He even was mimicking her when she was here last week, repeating to me what she said. We're still trying to get him to do cooperative play, that seems to be our biggest hurdle. Kerry also encourages us to keep things "fresh"--that we don't repeat things exactly the same every time, that we change up what we ask him to point at or look for in books, so he doesn't get stuck in a pattern (which he is inclined to do, for sure).

Occupational, well, is just not going as well. I really don't think it helps that we only see Lauren every couple of weeks, but Bug is just not as comfortable with her. Last week, he said in a high chair, with an apple slice wedged in his mouth almost the entire session. He wouldn't tolerate her touching him. I've also felt, and discussed with Lauren, that I didn't feel like we were seeing any benefit of the sensory activities we do. While he enjoys them, he doesn't seem more focused or "less-sensory". Lauren suggested that he could just be that low-sensitivity (that it takes A LOT of sensory to get through to him) or it could be that it's more of a hyperactivity issue rather than sensory-based.

OT was pretty frustrating. I was really disappointed with the feedback I got from Lauren, and Bug's behavior was not very inspiring either. We're going to give it another go, but might pursue private therapy if we really cannot get anywhere with the Early Intervention stuff.

Social:
We've been outside a lot lately, taking full advantage of the beautiful Virginia fall. Parks are a good place for Bug to get a little social interaction with peers, without it being too stressy. He does like to swing, but usually after we've done a good long swing he'll go play on the rest of the playground for a little while. He's been getting braver about going down slides (he was nervous about them for a while I think because he had gotten scraped up on one going down awkwardly). And every little interaction, little negotiation he has--taking turns, navigating the same "space" as another child--provides him another opportunity to learn.

Church has been going awesomely. I spent a lot of time in nursery with Wiggle and did some chatting with Sarah, the lady who's in charge, and she said that you can tell Bug's anxiety level is way down. She said he does some communicating too, which is great!

Romp n Roll has not been as good of an experience. We tried going to a different one and Bug just could not calm down, so we headed back home. Our best guess is that it's similar but not the same and that's distressing. I really hope we can get back there and have a positive experience so we can have it as a good, indoor playground. We also want to try a place called Jumpology, which is all trampolines. I think that could be a really good time!

We've had a few playdates too and Bug's done a pretty good job, even feeling sad when his friends leave!

Home:
Bug is still a big fan of his trampoline. He'll head in there a few times a day and has explored jumping on his knees or bouncing while he sits. We do have a "no food or drink while in the trampoline" policy that he's not too crazy about ;)

I also put together a schedule board for us so we can plan out our day using pictures.

In the top right corner is a "feelings chart" which we haven't had to use at all. It has pictures illustrating various emotions. The idea is that Bug can point to how he's feeling.

The rest of it is devoted to pictures of what we're going to do each day. While Bug obviously cannot tell time, the idea is that we can get him into understanding "first we do this, then this, then finally this." It also gives him a framework for when we're going to do things he's less comfortable with--therapies, Romp n Roll, etc. I still need to get used to using it and get a few more pictures of common things, but I'm hopeful that it'll provide some structure to the day and also empower him to help decide what we do.

I did just read a book written by a boy who has autism who doesn't like the use of visual schedules, but Bug doesn't seem too distressed when we have to change plans, so I think it's ok to use still.

I mentioned last time that Bug used chalk on a chalkboard at a friend's house. I remembered that Grandma S. gave Bug a little box that had a chalkboard on it, so we put a few pieces of chalk and a piece of felt for an eraser. Bug is a pretty big fan! He likes it when we draw on it, but he's done some good work on it too, which is seriously fantastic!

Yesterday he was saying letters as he was writing, which made me so very happy and excited! Bug has been doing really great with his letters. He now points them out occasionally while we're out and about. He also likes going through his foam letters and saying what they are. We do Starfall a lot too. I've been trying to show him how the letters combine to form words, since he knows so many and what they "say". He is just so drawn to words and books!

He also now will repeat the words from songs we hear on the radio and sometimes we think he tries to sing. I know with the ABCs he can sing a little of it. We are still trying to get him to understand that you can sing something or say something at the same time as someone. He is very used to us dropping off so he can "fill in the blanks" so it's definitely a work in progress.

So far Bug is pretty inconsistent about taking his omega supplement. Sometimes he doesn't mind at all and other times he just refuses. We do break it open into yogurt and such. I think it's more of a typical two-year old control thing rather than a taste or sensory thing. We also have not had much luck introducing new foods. He did taste (lick) a piece of chicken that Adam put on a fork, so that's really good, but mostly he won't try new things. I have a recipe for lentil tacos that I have planned, so maybe that will pique his interest. We have found that if we put it on a fork for him, he's at least somewhat interested, even if he won't taste it. The boy does eat a ridiculous amount of peas and beans and dairy, so I don't think his protein is in any way lacking! :)

Bug has also been soooooo into rocks lately. Everywhere we go we have to find a rock or two to hang onto. Mostly I don't mind, at least until he decides he needs to taste them. I remembered a box of rocks and shells I got from my sister, and I pulled out some of the bigger ones for him to play with and it's been a huge hit!




















He loves to hold onto them and place them on his belly. Adam will rub them on Bug's arms and he gets a huge kick out of that! In general though he really likes it when we draw attention to his arms and legs by running cars or rocks on him or massaging with lotion. He always gets this little smile on his face and you can tell he really enjoys the feelings. I think we need to do more of that, it's just a matter of getting him to slow down a bit!

Another REALLY cool thing we had happen yesterday: I was give Wiggle his lunch at the table and Bug spilled water. I told him to get the towel off the stove and pointed to it. He went over, looked for and found it, and brought it back and wiped up his mess! That is an enormous improvement! He definitely is catching on to us pointing at things and following simple directions which is super important and super awesome to see happen! Yay Bug! 

The other major thing for us is that with the fall weather brings some changes to clothes. So far we've made a pretty good transition into wearing pants. We also went up to 4T (seriously, the kiddo is a monster! Must be all that protein!) so we're still figuring out if there are certain clothes he doesn't like. He is handling the "some days it's cold and we wear pants, some days it's warm and we wear shorts" thing pretty well, a little less so at night, but there haven't been any huge meltdowns. We also bought him a new pair of shoes. I had been able to get the same shoe in a larger size the last time, but this time they didn't have it, so we got a pretty close style. He hasn't put them on yet, but I'm hoping that they fit ok and he is alright wearing them. Admittedly, I'm nervous about it. It's funny what worries you when you have a sensory kid. :P

I guess if I had to sum up, I'd say things are going really well. We're hearing a lot of speech, even if we don't fully understand. Bug seems willing to try new words and really does try to get us to understand. We're seeing him explore his world more and learn how to be a polite little man. I'm still hopeful that we can make some progress on the sensory side of things, but I think we are, even if it's not yet noticeable to me. Baby steps. :)

Jumping forward!

So Sunday was a very busy day. We went to church, then had friends over for the football game, and then went to dinner at another family's house to prepare for a church group we're going to start in October. Bug did A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

When we got to church, Bug only fussed a little as we pulled in the parking lot, but walked into the nursery without crying, immediately went to find toys, absolutely fine. We were shocked! After missing last week, we didn't know how it would go, but he did great. I fed Wiggle and headed out...unfortunately I got called back in because Wiggle's got some separation anxiety, but Bug was perfect the whole time! YAY!

Then we had friends over who have kids around the same age as Bug and Wiggle. Bug was very into football, of course. He did have to do a little sharing (and not sharing of sippy cups) and navigating around the extra people, but he did really well.

We then went over to a new family's house for supper. Bug needed a little time to be ok to go in the house, but once he came in he did great. Mostly he ate their fruit (and tried a tomato that he thought was an apple). He did use chalk on a chalkboard, which was cool. I tried sidewalk chalk with him earlier this summer and he was having none of it.

I also feel like he's done a pretty good job of maintaining talking while we're out and about. I think he's gaining confidence.

"Yes please" is getting overused now (meaning he doesn't always use it appropriately. Sometimes he just comes up and says "yes please"--he knows it gets him things. He is also using "downstairs" rather than just "upstairs" for both. Good!

I mentioned last time that I started doing some yoga with him. We've noticed that since I've done them (3 times now) Bug has been doing more "downward dog" type stuff. Not sure if it's just a coincidence or what. He does really enjoy watching them, although he did try many of the movements today (he does like the end where we lay on the floor).

I also took Bug to Romp N Roll again today for open gym. He was very good (seemed excited or at least interested) about going in and getting into the gym. He did run around for a few minutes and try a few things, but then wanted to leave. I asked them to turn the music down, but that didn't seem to help. I think he noticed the different layout and was thrown by that. As we left, a lot of kids did start showing up, so maybe it was for the best. We will keep trying! I do think that I will ask them to turn the music down right away when we get in. Yesterday was also a very long day, so he might have just been tired.

We also started Bug on an omega-3/DHA supplement. I've read numerous places that most Americans are deficient, and boys need a lot. Many kids who have autism benefit from the supplements, so we thought we'd give it a try.

Our trampoline came today too! I put it together while Bug was downstairs watching Word World. He came up when Adam came home and was immediately drawn to the trampoline. I opened it up for him and he crawled right in and started bouncing. He was super excited! Hopefully it'll be theraputic and fun all in one! :)

Tomorrow is OT and Wednesday speech. I'm excited to talk to the therapists about all the new stuff that's happened. And I love seeing all the progress Bug's making!

SUCCESS!!!!

So this morning I got a call from the owner of Romp N Roll. She said she had read the notes about Bug and our free class last week. She wanted to reach out and see if there was anything else they could do and I told her it was absolutely nothing on their end that went wrong, in fact I was super impressed with the staff there. She offered Bug a free open gym and mentioned that today they were extending the hours and if we came earlier, it would probably be pretty quiet. I said we would try, but obviously I didn't want to push Bug. She was totally understanding and sympathetic and super awesome.

I mentioned to Bug a few times today that I wanted to try Romp N Roll again. As soon as we got into the parking lot, Bug started crying. When I parked the car, he started freaking out. I let him out of his seat, got Wiggle out, and did some squeezes before I brought him to the door. Sarah, the same girl who helped us last time, was there, took Wiggle so I could get Bug in. He was in meltdown mode, but I just sat on the floor with him, talked a little bit to Sarah and the owner and let Bug have his moment. Luckily there was no one else there, so I didn't have to feel embarrassed or rushed or worried about the extra stimulus. Sarah was just so accommodating. She turned down the music for us, and then brought out a nubbly ball and opened up the gates so if Bug was inclined, he could go in the gym. I played with the ball a bit, rolled it on Bug's legs and he took it. When it rolled away, he got up to get it, noticed the opened gate, and headed in. YAY! I think Sarah and I both did silent cheers.

He started out in the baby area, but within a few minutes was exploring further and further. Another little boy showed up and was a good model for a lot of "typical" behavior. He was not a big talker either, so it was nice to have them be about the same level. They did interact a little, had to take turns going down the slide and share toys. We were there for more than an hour, Bug probably got about an hour playing time. He did find a lot of fun things to jump on, did some climbing, played with balls (mostly ran around with them). Mostly he wanted me to be near, but it was more to play with him, not really clinging. He was reluctant to go, but I think he was tired and hungry so he didn't put up too much of a fight.

When we got home he was pretty talkative ("Yes please" is really settling in) which was fun for us. Our OT says that doing so much sensory diet stuff should help "calm" him down so we'll watch him closely tomorrow to see if he seems to be seeking less than normal.

All in all, I'm really pleased with how it went. I bought a pass so we can go to more open gyms as we're able. Hopefully it ends up being a good fun positive experience for Bug. I'd love to get him in a class, but open gym definitely seems like the right thing for us right now.

As I was reflecting on this with Adam tonight, I realized something. I had read a book called "Kids Beyond Limits" about sort of healing the brain of kids who have all sorts of issues (CP, autism, etc) and the author mentioned how she always starts so small. Some therapies constantly try to get things to do things they aren't able to. All that teaches kids is failure. Small, tiny baby steps that are successful for the child help the child's brain grow and form strong connections. This week, when I was reading about expanding diets of sensory kids, a website suggested making "just noticeable" differences to foods to slowly expand the variety. Change the color, the shape, before just throwing new foods out there. If the child freaks out about it, it was too big of a change. Think smaller.

Momma has learned this week: Think small. Small changes, small steps. If he freaks out, it was too much. Being "trapped" in a class is too much right now. Entering the gym on his own terms, when he is ready, is the right small step.

We are going to take a quiet day tomorrow. On Sunday we have church, then friends over for the football game and then dinner with a family who were are running a fellowship group with, so a big day for Bug. Hopefully the calm day in between will keep things fairly successful!

I just feel so blessed that we have access to people who want to help us help Bug, who want to see him be successful almost as much as we do. I think God has shown me this week that even when I feel hopeless and lost, there are always hands there ready to help me out. I'm glad I get to end this week on a more positive note than last week.

So I haven't posted much. We had a cold work its way through the house and I'm finally feeling like a person again so it's time to get caught up.

We didn't go to church on Sunday because Bug got a runny nose and a low fever on Saturday. Crossing our fingers that this doesn't set us back at all with going to nursery. I did feel very very happy and blessed that it really does seem to be just a cold. Bug hasn't even really had a runny nose (Momma seems to have gotten the worst of it.)

On Sunday we were watching football (yay, football season!) and apparently it inspired A LOT of talking! He was repeating lots of what he heard on the tv and from us, and I've definitely noticed an uptick in him trying to imitate sounds. Maybe even some singing? I can't entirely tell, as there's no pitch to it, but long drawn out words make me think he's trying to sing! Every single day this week he's asked me to watch "baseball" (he means football).

Watching the Packers

Bug now points to objects in The Cat in the Hat as well as The Very Hungry Catepillar! We try to vary what we ask him to point at so that he doesn't get into a "rut"
 I also had success getting him to hand me the remote which was on the coffee table. He had to find it and get it and give it to me. MOTIVATION really helps. ;) I told him we could watch another episode of Dinoaur Train. Talking with our speech therapist, Kerry, she said that we should work on "what is that" with Bug. He is learning that we point at things in books, now we stretch and we can point at things across the room, and eventually outside.

Adam has managed to get Bug to say "Yes please" now (prompted) which is a fantastic step! It is great to have him truly confirm what he wants and I really hope we can see this go further!

This is how I've been meeting Bug's sensory needs while I've not had energy for anything.

 He's been a big fan of jumping on the air mattress! We do have a trampoline coming on Monday, so looking forward to that! I feel like the sensory diet stuff hasn't been working, but truthfully, I'm not very faithful to it. So I've decided to make a strong effort for the next few days until OT on Tuesday and if I still feel like it's not good, I'll bring it up to Lauren.

I also found some awesome kid's yoga videos on YouTube that we've been trying out. They're just short ones (10-15 minutes) but they tell a cute little story. Bug seems very interested in them, today (our second time doing them) it seemed like he was trying to do some of the poses. He liked having me do the lying down ones especially. If I would stand up, he'd tell me to "lie down." I told him that I was copying the lady on the tv. Hopefully we can make this a "baby step" toward Bug listening to others, following others' directions.

We've also been doing a lot of thinking about food and I've started doing some research. We are contemplating a dairy-free and possibly gluten free diet for Bug. I have long suspected Bug to have an issue with dairy. He has keratosis pilaris (those little red bumps--very common) and it has really spread from his face to his arms and now to his legs and bottom. I have read that it can be the only sign of a food allergy. There is also a lot of evidence (largely anecdotal) that a GFDF diet can help with speech delays and with sensory processing disorder and autism. We are thinking that we might try to decrease his dairy and then go dairy free for a month to see if there is an improvement.

The hardest part would be making sure that Bug still gets a balanced diet. Because he doesn't eat (most) meat, dairy is the main source of his protein. He does like green beans and will eat some peanut butter, but it is very difficult to introduce him to new things. So today I tried a little experiment. I filled a little ice cube tray I got from Target with a variety of different foods (peanut butter, yogurt, apple sauce and raisins). Really my goal was to see if he would try dipping his apple slices in the stuff. But he was very interested and ate the applesauce, some raisins and some peanut butter. I think the biggest problem was that they were such small little spaces that there wasn't much and it was hard to get to at. So I might try again with a muffin pan. And I have a little lightning bolt tray too that I can try.

So all in all, I feel like we are still making slow but steady progress. I do plan on talking about the dietary changes with the OT and I still have more research to do. Looking forward to the weekend with cooler temps (and healthier family) so we can GET OUTSIDE!

The Worst Part is not knowing

We've had a hard few days over here. On Thursday, when I really (really) needed to get out of the house...Bug was adamantly against it. "Do you want to go see friends?" No. "Well, Mommy would like to go. I think we should try it." No. "We can walk to a playground" No. "Please honey? If you don't like it, you tell Mommy, and we'll go." No.  So we didn't go.

And then yesterday we were supposed to have our free class at Romp N Roll. I was really excited. Nervous, of course, but really truly hopeful that he would at least enjoy the physical part and the structured part would be a good challenge for us. He didn't want to leave the house again, but I got him in the car and he was calm and I figured it'd be ok. It didn't help he got up at like 5 yesterday morning. But we got to RnR and he was a little unsure but not too bad in the lobby. When the teacher called us in to the little playhouse room for the intro song and such, Bug lost it. Crying. Asking to go. Trying to go. He seemed to be interested in the songs for a second or two, and then he'd go back to trying to escape. He wouldn't come near me, so I couldn't calm him down in my lap. I took him back out. One of the other workers asked if we wanted to just go into the gym, so we tried that. He looked at all the really cool stuff for a millisecond and then continued to cry and ask to go. So we headed out. The girl was so sweet to us, told us that I can call any time to come back, or we can just do Open Gym to start.

So we came home. And I briefly explained to Adam. And we both just felt so deflated. Defeated. Discouraged.

The worst part is not knowing.

How much of this is typical two year old stuff versus "Bug's quirks" stuff? What exactly is so objectionable about these environments? Is this actually backlash from "prepping" him (telling him prior where we are going and what to expect--Adam pointed out that we don't do that if we're doing little errands or going to places he's ok with, only when it's something new and we're not sure of his reaction)? Where is the line between challenging him and traumatizing him? Am I being too soft with him?

The worst part is not knowing. Why?

On the surface, you could look at the RnR thing and see any kid doing that. But as Bug's Mom, and someone not unfamiliar with tantrummy, fickle two year olds...he was scared. Panicked. Truly frightened. I don't know why. As far as environments go, it wasn't too bad stimulation-wise. There were only 3 other kids--who weren't moving around wildly or making big noises. Simple room.

We don't know what about new environments makes Bug so uneasy. Sometimes you can understand--the nursery at church is busy...when there are lots of kids in there, it is kind of overwhelming, even as an adult. The library even, while quiet, is big and there is so much visual.

Bug can't tell us. Maybe he doesn't even know. The best we can do is look for patterns. It's all guesswork.

The worst part is not knowing. How to help?

The worst part is not knowing. What to do?

I'm Bug's mom. I've seen this kid every. single. day. for his entire life--31 months now. The longest period of time I've ever been away from him was when I was in the hospital after having Wiggle. And even then, I saw him every day. No one knows him better than me. And so I'm the biggest advocate he has. It is my job to protect him, get his needs met, encourage him and challenge him, but recognize when it's best to just bail on a situation.

One of the hardest things for me is when I tell others about Bug's being uncomfortable in new situations, especially if we're not there. People invariably give me some version of "Well, he's going to have to get over it." And that just seems so horribly callous to me.

Imagine being brought to a foreign land, where you had no common language. You can't use gestures to get your needs met. You can't talk. That would produce anxiety, even for an adult. And we're not sure, what does Bug see, feel, notice in a new environment. He could be in pain, and I wouldn't necessarily know it. How do I help him when I don't know what the problem is?

As an adult, you can control your environment. If something makes you uneasy, you can avoid it, or you at least have the ability to somewhat mentally prepare yourself, you have coping mechanisms. Bug has no control over where he goes. He is not able to prepare himself. We have to teach him how. Somehow.

I'm Bug's biggest advocate. Until he can express himself, I have to be his voice. And the little bit that he does express himself I have to encourage and respect. Give him confidence. Show him that saying "x" gets you "y" consistently. Find some balance between empowering him without letting him completely take over (that is, we're not going to stop going to new places all together because Bug doesn't like them...but maybe there are some that we wouldn't go to because they are too much, or leaving when he's had enough). Find a balance between challenging him and protecting him. Heck, even the balance between being honest and realistic about our struggles and being overly negative. Knowing what is good and what damages him.

The hardest part is not knowing. We are flying blind over here. We are very much just making it up as we go along. I'm not going to lie. And while I don't think that's unusual at all for parenthood, we have the added complexity of this sensory issue/speech delay that may be indicative of something deeper or maybe is just a quirk or a phase. No clue.

What I do know: We have a smart, sweet little boy that we love very much. My parenting philosophy is best summed up as "Love the snot out of them." So I'm going to do that, I'm going to try to trust my gut as we do this complicated balancing act. I know that God has this all figured out, and I'm going to try to be ok with that. And I know that we will slog on.

Really successful OT today!!!

So a quick note on the rest of our long weekend. Lots of good talking. Repeating us, repeating sounds and words he heard while we were at the park yesterday. We did have a frustrating experience. He was trying to tell us something, we weren't sure what. I asked him to show me and he couldn't. He started getting frustrated. It was tough. But in some ways really good too.

He's also had some interactions with Wiggle. Wiggle is starting to grab for things Bug has, invading space. Bug is not excited about this. But it's actually good that he's possessive about his stuff. Trying to teach him to say things like "No, that's mine" etc.

We took him to the park yesterday. It was great because it was empty, so he could really experience things. The favorite was definitely a spinning chair thing. He loved it. I would spin him until he would get dizzy, then he'd get down, reset and go back for more. He also enjoyed some good swinging, but wouldn't go down the slides.

We had OT this morning with Lauren. Bug got up quite late, so I wasn't quite sure what we were going to get. It was actually an awesomely good session. He didn't fuss at all about Lauren coming in, he actually interacted with her (talking, eye contact and even letting her touch him a little) WHICH IS REALLY REALLY FANTASTIC! He did decide after a bit that he'd rather have my company, but it was a huge improvement over the last session.

We reviewed his sensory profile which was about how we expected. The biggest thing is his auditory troubles. He takes longer to process auditory inform, so the best thing we can do for him is give him more time. We might have to touch him to get his attention, use simple directions (pointing at what we want) and giving him a little bit more time to respond. Patience. Lots of patience.

Our next step with Bug's sensory diet is layering in more vestibular stuff. It's funny, because we've actually kind of started this on our own. The park experience, with the spinning chairs, is perfect. We just bought a sit n spin for home. She said a small trampoline would be good too. Rocking, swinging are

She said that our issue with getting the tactile/proprioception stuff in every two hours is very common with parents. Life goes on, no matter what we're supposed to be doing. But she said to keep trying, and start paying attention to Bug as we become more used to it. Does he focus better? After an intense vestibular experience (like yesterday) does he jump and spin less? Even the next day?

Lauren and I also talked quite a bit about our social experiences. She said we are doing a very good job with not pushing Bug too hard, but encouraging him just enough. She agreed that our most successful experiences will be in "smaller" social settings (like Sunday in church, where there weren't a lot of other kids). She also suggested that if he is overwhelmed, that we take him out, do some of the tactile stuff (squeezes or lotion) in the car or another quiet place, and then bring him back in.

A lot of our work with Bug is really just about awareness. Being more aware of his needs, more in tune with what he's feeling, more aware of the situations we put him in and how they affect him. It can be so draining, but it is so important. It is a bit crazy how much time and energy I devote to just thinking about Bug and his needs, reflecting on how things went, how they could go better, how we could explore further, push him in a successful and positive way. I'm learning to really trust my gut. It can be difficult. On the one hand, I don't want to "baby" him, but on the other hand, I have to be sympathetic to his needs and his abilities. It can be so draining, but it's crucial. I'm sure that eventually it'll be second nature, after all, we've only been exploring this for 6 weeks or so. Kind of amazing to think about.

The other thing that has been weighing on me a lot lately is thinking about sending Bug to Early Childhood when he turns 3. I have very mixed feelings on it, and we need to make a decision about it within the next month or so. Adam and I need to do some discussing about our goals and wants for our boy. And I have lots of research to do too. It's complicated. While I definitely think Bug will need to continue his therapies and would benefit from the social interaction, I'm concerned that it's not the right environment for him right now. It's also hard because I have no idea where he'll be in 4 months or so, so it's difficult to know what the right situation is. Adam and I would really appreciate your prayers as we do research and make these big decisions. Prayers that God will be with us, bless us, give us wisdom.

Tomorrow we have speech, such a busy week!

Repeat after Me

So I mentioned last time that Bug has started repeating things he hears when we're out and about. We are definitely seeing an increase in him repeating what we say, even if he doesn't really understand it.

On Friday I asked him if he wanted to call Grandma Trew on Skype. He said "Gran" which took me by surprise. I asked him if he said "Grandma" and he said "please" (which is how he confirms that he wants something). Later that day when he wanted my phone, he asked for Gran again...so I think he might think it means something about using the tech stuff.

The other funny one was while we were at the ReStore, Adam kept telling Bug "Don't touch" while we were walking through. Bug started going over to things and saying "Dohn tuh. Dohn tuh". He was still touching, so now we're joking that he thinks things are called "Don't touch". There are a lot of don't touches. ;)

Another thing we've noticed is an increase in him actually playing with toys. He's been very interested in cars lately, "driving" them and making them say "vroom". We also got him a sit n spin toy that he likes to go to sometimes. It's funny because he's actually a little big for it, but he does enjoy spinning himself and it's a good sensory toy.

We made it to church again today! We were running late because of Wiggle, but we went anyway. Today it was only Bug, Wiggle and one little girl. Bug calmed down much faster and headed off on his own, so I was able to leave for at least a little bit. When we went to get him, he was playing and didn't even seem that excited to have us back ;) We didn't do communion, but it was still a lot of progress over last week.

The more successful experience showed us that it seems to be more about how overwhelming it is rather than us leaving. 

Pointing!!

Bug has started pointing out some of the foods in The Very Hungry Caterpillar! Yay! Hopefully we can build build build on that, so we can point out objects to him and him to us. Not just in books, but out and about. It would be so helpful!

I've also noticed that he is starting to say "No" in a more meaningful way. As in, I ask him if he wants something, and he says no. Then I ask about something else. And he says no. Or please if he does want it. I'd like to get "yes" worked into his vocab too. (Although there's nothing wrong with please, it's at least polite!)

The other thing I've noticed (that I forgot to mention in the last post) is that Bug is starting to repeat things he hears. He does this with TV a lot anyway, but even when we are in stores and he hears something over the intercom, sometimes he'll repeat it. I know that he is very aware. Yesterday during speech, Kerry was reading a book, and Bug was just chilling out, "ignoring" her. But when she got to a part he liked, he smiled big. He knows. I need to do a better job making sure that we don't "talk in front of him" about our concerns. He needs to hear uplifting and empowering things. :)

Adam had the good idea to use a timer on my phone to help me with remembering to do our sensory activities. I did it yesterday with good success, today not as much. I need to get into the habit though. Personally, I struggle with schedules and routines so I need to be more intentional about it.

I also inquired about trying out a Romp N Roll class, so I'm hoping we can get the ball rolling on that. It is expensive, but if Bug enjoys it I think it could be a very good thing for him.

We didn't get any "homework" for speech, just need to continue doing what we're doing. We have a three day weekend because of Labor Day, so I'm hoping to get things done so I can really focus on incorporating our therapies. Slow and steady...

We made it to church!

Bug loves Starfall. It's a good opportunity for him to learn and practice the alphabet, phonics and of course, words! We have been letting him spend some time with us every day exploring the site. At first, he would just watch us. Then he would grab our hand to point to letters. Now he points to letters himself, knows lots of the words and sounds that accompany each letter. It's amazing to see how fast he's memorizing them!

We've been trying to work with him to get the correct number of syllables for each word (even if they're not the right syllables). Usually, Bug just says the first syllable for each word. He usually drops off the last consonant sound too. This can make understanding him EXTREMELY difficult, which is frustrating for both of us. Our speech therapist has encouraged us to clap or tap out syllables to help him notice the difference. Slowly, he's adding a number of multi-syllable words to his vocabulary. Yesterday we heard "do-noh-saw" for dinosaur, which is seriously awesome (seeing as we started at just "doe". Apple also has two syllables now. So we are making good progress.

I'm struggling a bit to incorporate the sensory diet. I've never been a schedule type person, so it's difficult for me to remember to do his tactile "exercises" every two hours. I might need to set an alarm until I get into the habit. That being said, he does seem to really enjoy them.

On Friday, I took Bug on a little "date". Adam and I decided that on his Fridays off, one of us would take Bug for some quality one-on-one time. It can be difficult to get Bug the attention he needs while Wiggle is up during the day, and one-on-one time also gives us a chance to focus on his therapies more. I brought him to the library. We'd only gone one other time, well over a year ago. Unfortunately, we didn't get off to a great start because I think he thought we were at a doctor's office so he kind of freaked out. Once I got him in the building, he took a while to "warm up" enough for me to put him down. Then he discovered that there were lighting inside of the foyer we entered before the kids area and spent most of his time in there. I picked out a few books, checked out, and as Bug's behavior started getting bad, we headed out. It was a bit frustrating, but he was kind of tired, so I'm sure that didn't help.

We did make it to church yesterday. It was a bit rough, but overall I feel like it was a good start. We weren't too excited about going since both boys got up super early, but we made it there. Of course, Bug started crying as soon as we pulled in the parking lot. I had told him prior that we were going to church, but I would stay with him in the nursery, that I wouldn't leave. As we walked into the building, he was really really crying, so I kept assuring him that I would be with him the whole time. Adam and I split up (so he didn't have to see Adam go) and I managed to get both boys into the nursery and sat down. It took a bit, but probably within 10 minutes he calmed down enough to play with toys in my lap, at about 30 minutes he was secure enough to leave my side for a snack at the table and then he took off on his own. I also got to talk to the main caretaker there. She apparently works for a physical therapy clinic, so she's not unfamiliar with our challenges with Bug. She was extremely supportive and said that when he ages out of Early Intervention (at age 3) she knows some good OTs and STs if we need to continue therapy.

Adam came to get us for communion. Bug started panicking again about going into the church, so we decided that was a good enough start and to try to keep things as positive as possible. Our goal is to decrease the amount of time I spend in the nursery. Next week I plan on leaving once he's comfortable enough to leave my side. Hopefully this becomes earlier and earlier as he becomes more familiar with the nursery and the kids. We definitely feel like we need to consistently go to make the whole process more routine and less scary.

It can be so tough to handle social situations. I think he finds them very overwhelming and overstimulating. Obviously, because he struggles with speech, he can't exactly tell us what's wrong or what he'd like to do or not do or how we can help. I have to try very hard to keep things positive and push his limits a bit without completely freaking him out. Still every outing we have, every interaction, is another experience for him, an opportunity for us to practice and learn and interact. This week is just our speech week, so I'm trying to find good opportunities for socialization and experience outside of the home. Plus we have to take advantage of the beautiful weather!

It's funny how skills go in fits and spurts. While I didn't feel like much happened last week, this week we're seeing lots of progress again! I've noticed that Bug is responding more and following simple one-step directions (which is great, because that's one of his therapy goals). He's now pretty good at closing doors when we ask and can even bring us things sometimes. He's started pointing at the letters on Starfall (rather than having us point, or using our hand to point). And huge: the last few days, I've heard him talking. He's using "real" words. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what he was telling me, but I'm feeling very encouraged by this.

We had occupational therapy yesterday and speech today. It was only our second OT session, and Bug was still pretty unsure about Lauren, our therapist. I filled out a sensory assessment (basically a questionnaire about how Bug responds to certain things) so she has a better idea of what his needs are. We are working on introducing the sensory diet a bit more. The first step was the Chewy Tubes (which he's taken to very well!!). Now we're adding in tactile/proprioception activities. Lauren gave us a list of different things we can do or have Bug do to get him the sensory input he needs. Things like firm squeezes on his arms and legs, playing with squishy things like play-doh or shaving cream, moving heavy objects (she suggested he help carry groceries in or moving chairs). The idea is to pick an activity from the list every two hours or so. Once his needs are met, he should hopefully be able to focus a bit better on other activities. So far, Bug is a big fan of the squeezes and I've been using lotion (another thing on the list) and giving him mini-massages. You can just see the processing happen like "Wow, that feels neat!"

Our speech therapist encouraged us to work on clapping or tapping out syllables for words. For example, Bug say "Yo" for "yogurt." If we clap it out that's more input for him that the word is longer. Or when we play "Head Shoulders Knees and Toes" tap twice on his shoulders. She did say that it'll be slow going to relearn the words he's known for a while. Young kids don't learn as well using only auditory, so we need to encourage other senses involvement (touch and sight especially). We still need to work on cooperative play. Taking turns reading, putting things away, etc.

We are also looking at other opportunities to introduce FUN social situations to Bug. I discussed Romp N Roll with our OT, and she seemed very encouraging. (Romp n Roll is a kid's gym. They offer classes that mix music or art with physical activity) She said it would be a good way to meet his sensory needs while also encouraging socialization in a way he is likely to find positive. It is kind of expensive, so I think we're going to try out a class before we actually commit.

I also discussed our church issues with our therapist. Bug has a really really tough time going to nursery, but he also isn't really able to sit through a service (especially ours which tend to run 75min or more!). Unfortunately, it's such a negative experience that we've pretty much stopped going to church. We want to branch out and form a good support network at church, but obviously that can't happen if we never go. So our therapist suggested that we try to go to the nursery when no one is there so we can explore things together. Then one of us stays with him the whole time, then every week decrease the amount of time we spend in there. Also talk about going to church--"in a few days" "tomorrow" "today" so he becomes familiar with the routine and the process. Ideally if we could have him connect with one of the nursery staff or be familiar with the other kids who go, he might not have as much trouble adjusting to Mom and Dad not being there.

The two most important things that we have to remember with Bug (and I should write these down and put them everywhere and read them every single day):
Use his strengths (books, memory, physical activity) to "branch out" into more unfamiliar territory
GO SLOW. Baby steps are crucial. He is not going to get "it" all at once.

We are making good progress. I'm feeling excited and encouraged about where we're headed. So steady on!

Learning to Slow Down

So today is not going quite as well for us. We did have one really really  positive interaction that I need to note:
Bug was chewing on one of the pieces of plastic food and I said "Oh, you need to chew? You have a Chewy Tube over there." And I pointed to it. He looked where I was pointing. And knew what I was talking about enough to find it. Then he took the plastic food out of his mouth, and put the Chewy Tube in. YAY! Again, this sound so trivial, but I think might be the first time this has ever happened. It's actually a really big step forward. We really want him to be able to point to things, and to get things that we point to. Think about interacting with a toddler. Pointing, gestures, make up a huge part of your interaction. It's how you know what they're talking about, a lot of times. It's how you know they understand you. And we don't have that.

Other than that, today has been kind of frustrating. I feel like Bug is running on high today. Everything is being taken out and dumped and then left. He intentionally dumped out his cup all over the floor. Pulling things down. Emptying the fridge. He's tripping all over things, slipping and sliding. We walked over to the park and he was running ahead and skinned his knee. Then he didn't want to play much, so we went for a walk on the trails. When I said it was time to go, he initially was fine with it, and then took off running in the opposite direction. When I grabbed him and we walked back, he slipped on loose gravel and skinned the other knee. sigh And lunch has been abandoned.

So we're going to try to slow down the afternoon a bit. I made him help me clean up some of the stuff he dumped (He actually put all the pieces in a puzzle he dumped, which is awesome!!! Although he wouldn't do the next puzzle). We're watching tv now. I'm not sure what it is about today. I guess his sensory stuff is off? Maybe he didn't sleep well? But he's doing things so fast nothing is processing and he's hurting himself and I'm getting tired and frustrated.

The park was hard and maybe not the best idea on a "bad day." The park is always hard. If there is no one there, I don't think he minds, and we can go up and play with him more easily. But today it was quite busy. He did go play a little bit. Had a couple of interactions--one girl who was rather possessive/defensive about the playground and pushed Bug. He just looked at her kind of like "Huh. What are you doing?" A younger girl was sweet and smiley at us, and they had to learn how to get past each other in the tunnel. Good interactions, experience. But then he was done and wanted to sit in the stroller so we went for our walk. It's hard. It's hard to see kids who are much younger talking and interacting and acting normal and it feels so glaringly obvious that Bug is different. It's probably not that obvious. But as we left I couldn't help but feel a little bit bad about it. I worry sometimes that this is my fault, that I didn't give him enough social interaction. I know that there is both a nature and a nurture component to his delays. I know that even if it's hard, I need to encourage social situations and interactions when I can. Encouraging him to say "hi" to people. Taking turns on the playground with other kids. Seeing how they play, trying to play with them. I also need to respect that when he's done, he's done.

Bug's memory is so good, I really worry that if something becomes negative, then that's what he thinks of every time that situation occurs. So for example, we go to the doctor when he's sick and they have to look in his ears which hurt...that's what he remembered and then every time we go he freaks out because of that. Or today, he skinned his knee at the park and I worry that next time we go, he won't play because he was hurt today.

I feel like a huge part of my job is to be gently persistent with him and brave enough to encourage situations even if they may not go well. He does often surprise us and respond very well. And it's important that no matter what I feel, I try to think positively and not subconsciously affect the situation with my mood--because he can definitely pick up on that.

Big post today. Sorry. I guess I needed to vent.

 

So far so good!

We are having a really good morning! Bug took the initiative to put a book away without me asking! It didn't make it on the shelf but the intent was there which is stellar!

I'm also loving the Chewy tubes as a good redirect from chewing inappropriate things. He definitely likes them, and I like not nagging him!

We went out shopping this morning and when we got back, Wiggle's paci dropped on the ground.  I asked Bug to get it and he did! Super pumped because he normally doesn't notice what I'm talking about or ignores these requests. He's also very good at putting his shoes away when we get home (although we have to hand them to him).

And finally, I turned on Sid the Science Kid for him and he is so engaged! Repeating words he hears to me, telling me the stove on tv is hot, etc. Love the connections.

One note from yesterday: we got a new comforter set for our room and the family was all on the bed. Bug tucked himself under the covers and said "snug". Realized that he was making the connection from his Word World dvd that has an episode about being "snug as a bug"!!

I know this all seems so trivial, but for us, it's huge. Every word is one more connection made, one more practice to get him to use his words to tell us what he wants and needs and feels!

Chewy Tubes and ABCs

So our Chewy Tubes came today! Yay Amazon! I got a pack of four different ones for Bug to try out. He of course put them into his mouth right away. Started with the green textured one and tried out each one as he jumped around and watched Thomas on Netflix. (I love Netflix. Why did we wait so long to get it!). We will have to see if he gravitates toward a certain one or not.

As I mentioned in the first post on here, one of the things I'm trying to do more is sing little songs to Bug. He really enjoys it, and if we can work in actions, hopefully he'll start participating more. This afternoon I was singing the ABCs to him and every so often I'd stop, to see if he'd fill in a letter. I've tried this a few times, and he knew a couple, but today, he said 8-10 letters!

That's the funny thing about him. He knows so much. He remembers things so well, I'm constantly amazed. You can be reading a book and stop before the last few words, and he can tell you what the words are and usually how the next sentence begins. He knows when to turn the pages in his books. But if you ask him something point blank, he usually won't answer. "Can you count to ten" would be met with silence but if you start out "One," he'll say "Two" then you say "Two" and he'll say "three" and so on.  He does get very caught up into routines. Once he figures out how to do something, he'll typically always do it that way. Even if we're at a playground, he'll make his way up the steps to the slide, stop to turn a steering wheel, then go down the slide and then repeat the same sequence over.

It's difficult for me because I wonder how much of his behavior is based off of that idea, that once you have some success, you just keep repeating that same thing. Did we somehow "teach" him not to talk, obviously unintentionally? I know that's an oversimplification of the issue, that his extreme need for routine is a symptom of the issue--whatever that is. But it's difficult to figure out how to help him successfully break out of those routines.

I also wanted to talk a bit about our pediatrician's thoughts. We went in on Friday (just Bug and me, because doctor appointments do not go well) for Bug's 2.5 yr well-child check up. Our pediatrician, Dr. Marks was the one who encouraged me to have Bug assessed by Early Intervention, and as we've been going in often for Wiggle's well-baby checks, he's seen us a good amount so he kind of knows how Bug is. Dr. Marks' thought is to do the 6 months of speech and occupational and then we'll see how far Bug has come and whether there's a more serious issue than a speech delay. While it is possible that Bug lies somewhere on the autism spectrum (high functioning, of course) he does have a lot of characteristics and skills that don't typically fit ASD. So it could be that with a little bit of therapy, we can get our "late-bloomer" caught up.

It's funny, because in some ways, it seems so important to FIGURE OUT IF HE HAS SOMETHING, and yet somehow it doesn't really matter. If we knew he had ASD or SPD (sensory processing disorder), he would still be in the therapies he's in. We'd still have to decide what the best course is for after he leaves the Early Intervention program (Early Childhood, private therapy, etc.). He'll be our Bug no matter what happens, and we'll advocate for him and encourage him all the same.

Catching up

This page will focus on our work/therapy with Bug. We started Speech Therapy (ST) on July 31st and Occupational Therapy (OT) on August 6th. At Bug's EI assessment, they determined he was at a solid 18 month old level for speech and approximately two years for motor skills. They also indicated that he has sensory issues that may explain why he is so physical (jumping constantly, LOVES roughhousing, chews on things constantly) and potentially could explain why he doesn't talk much (if he has a high threshold for oral sensations, he might not realize how to make the correct sounds, etc.)

Our biggest concern for Bug is that he doesn't engage in typical or common play for his age. He doesn't seem terribly interested in other kids (although he is definitely aware of them) and won't even play with toys with us. Often, we feel like he wants to interact, but is held back by his lack of talking. He also struggles to understand more complex directions, although can follow simple one step directions, sometimes. We discovered that he actually has a decent vocabulary for his age (~100 words) but he is very limited with phrases. Common phrases "Check mail" "Read book please"  "Take bath"

At our first speech session, we worked on finishing tasks. For example, Bug enjoys dumping things out and then taking off for another activity. Instead, we called him back, had him help us put the pieces away. This helps him realize that we finish activities before moving on and gets him to think about natural consequences ("If I take this out, I'm going to have to pick it up") and slow him down a bit too. Kerry encouraged me/us to work on cooperative play (things like he turns pages while I read, etc.) which is a big goal of ours. We also discussed encouraging more 3 word phrases: want ____ please, want more _____ etc.

After this session, Bug mastered "Come with me" (which we had started encouraging before we started ST) and also "Stand up" or "sit up" (it's hard to tell because of his lack of diction). We are also really encouraging the word "Want" and he does sporadically use it correctly! He is becoming a good helper picking up items. He likes to take the condiments out of the fridge and can put them back, sometimes without them being handed to him. We are working on getting him to put books back on shelves.
The first OT session was a little bit less successful because Bug had never met his OT before. (Our speech therapist, Kerry, evaluated him for his assessment, so they had met) The OT and I did a lot of talking about where Bug was at, and where we'd like to go with therapy. She said that his jumping and walking on his toes is how he gets sensory information into his joints. Once Bug is more comfortable, she plans on showing me joint compression techniques to help him get that feedback. We also plan on using a "sensory diet" which is a series of activities throughout the day to help Bug get the sensory input he needs but also allows him to function more "normally" and focus better on regular tasks. I'm still a little unsure of what this will all entail, but we'll get into it more after I fill out a sensory assessment to determine where Bug's needs are.

We also discussed potty training and the OT agreed that we are on the right path. She said that we just need to go s-l-o-w and accept that it will probably take more time that we'd like. However, I'm happy because Bug enjoys sitting on the potty, which is a good first step.

Our final issue we talked about was Bug's chewing. The OT recommended that  I purchase "Chewy Tubes" which were initially designed to help kids strengthen their jaws, but are also a safe thing for sensory kids to chew on to get that input. Hopefully these are coming in the mail tomorrow. Our goal is to get him to chew on his Chewy Tubes rather than constantly putting other (inappropriate) things in his mouth. This would be great, as I really really hate having to constantly tell him no, or having him and Wiggle share chewing toys.