I didn't forget about part two, I've been swamped with Christmas sewing. But today this awesome letter showed up in my news feed, and I thought I should get started on this post.
What's it like for Bug, in Bug's world? The hard truth is, I don't know. I have ideas, and sometimes I have little peeks in, but I don't actually know. I absolutely believe that he experiences some things differently than we do. He definitely has different interests. Right now, he's a good blend between "normal" two (almost three!) -year old and not normal. And it can be VERY difficult to figure out when he's just being a toddler and when he's actually having a sensory or social issue.
It makes me super happy to say that Bug has gotten SO MUCH BETTER at communication. Most of his words now sound about right, with the correct number of syllables. He still struggles to string them together into phrases, but it is coming along. I think most of the time now, I can figure out what he wants. And he definitely seems more willing to stick with it and try to get what he wants. This weekend he kept saying "bagel" only I didn't know that's what he was saying (because he had never said it correctly before). Finally he went over to where we kept them and said "door" and it clicked. "Oh, you want a bagel!" "Yes please!" "Great job Buddy! Thank you for helping Mommy figure out what you want."
Our struggle right now is to get him to understand more abstract concepts now. Things like being bored, being friends, love, tired, etc. Wiggle is constantly getting into Bug's space now and Bug has a hard time coping with that. We're trying to help him understand that Wiggle just wants to be friends with him. He wants to play with him, he's curious. Hard things to grasp.
As Bug's language has been clearing up, we've discovered that he spends a lot of time imitating and thinking about his favorite TV shows. Super Why is the current favorite over here. Phones and the computer frequently remind him of it so he says things like "Super duper computer" a lot. If you talk about red, that reminds him of the color red so we sing the song from Starfall. I think he sings a lot, it's just that it sounds more like talking. He does sometimes however try to change the pitch of his voice or lengthen the words.
Bug's social skills are slowly improving too. He is definitely more aware of what's going on in his environment. Wiggle plays a big part in this too. Now Bug frequently has someone challenging his space, his "plans" and his possessions. Right now, this tension is our biggest struggle. Bug basically wants Wiggle no where near him and pushes at Wiggle if he gets too close.
Another challenge is that Bug doesn't play in the same ways many other kids do, and he has a hard time with other kids occupying the same space. Bug enjoys trains and dinosaurs, but he doesn't make-believe with them--at least not that I can tell. I do think he likes to do dinosaur train, and he is at least sometimes responsive to us showing him "how to play". I struggle with this a bit too. On the one hand, I'd love to see Bug play the way I see other kids do. On the other hand, if that's not how Bug's brain works, if that's not what he's interested in, who am I to try to force him to change?
I know it can be difficult for others to interact with Bug. Honestly, it can be tough for us, his parents, too. It's hard to know what to do with a kid who seems to be ignoring you. I've learned that Bug definitely is more aware of us than we realize. When talking to him, we've found that simple, direct questions or requests are best. He takes a little bit longer to process what you say, so you have to be patient with him. He also can be slow to warm to people. Almost every week, he gets upset when the therapists come, but he usually livens up a bit within 10-15 minutes and sometimes is very upset when they leave. Some days he is more comfortable and some days less so.
That might be the biggest thing: Every day is different with Bug. There are just so many factors. If he didn't get enough sleep, that makes everything more challenging (like it would with anyone, really). Some days are bad sensory days. We have trouble finding a pair of pants he'll wear, or he'll be tripping and tumbling, or seems like he's not really in our world (focusing on looking out windows or at the corners and edges of things). Other days, he is warm, responsive, parrots us, finds things silly. We just never know. I just try to respond to his needs. If he seems wound up, we'll try to focus on sensory stuff and things I know are comforting for him. If he is really engaged, we'll try to stretch his boundaries a little. Honestly, it can be exhausting. I'm grateful for the therapists coming in because it gives me a chance to get new perspective and kind of "reset".
I am constantly on the hunt for new sensory activities, support ideas, and as much information as I can possibly get my hands on. So I thought I'd put a few resources that I've found helpful and insightful:
The Reason I Jump This book was written by an autistic teen. It's a quick read and very telling. A lot of it reminded me of Bug. A bit heart-breaking too, how aware kids are of how we feel about things.
Meeting Sensory Needs on a Budget This had a ton of ideas that you can DIY to meet sensory needs. It's amazing how creative people can be. Necessity breeds invention.
SPD Foundation
Hopefully this gives you all a better idea of how it goes for us. We're walking a complicated walk. But it's worth it to see all the growth, and of course, anything for our Bug.
The next couple of months will be transitional for us. Bug turns three at the beginning of February, which means that he no longer qualifies for Early Intervention services. So we will be meeting with EI to reevaluate, then checking up with Bug's pediatrician to see what our next step is.
